15 Weirdest Horror Monsters

When it comes to the horror genre there seems to be no end to what can kill you. Ghouls, ghosts, and serial killers have all been played to death and many horror directors try to get out of the status quo by making there own monsters. Unfortunately, sometimes the end result is more hilarious than scary. So today we are looking at the craziest and weirdest horror movie monsters that have been put on the big screen.

Killer Klowns  (Killer Klowns from Outer-space)

killer-klowns

Clowns are already scary, but killer clowns that turn people into cotton candy with their ray guns is terrifying! I love this film, but honestly alien clowns that eat people by turning them into cotton candy is insane! The clowns use all sorts of wacky clown gadgets to kill their prey such as popcorn shotguns, acid pies, balloon animal bloodhounds and puppet shows are just gadgets the clowns use. This movie is one of a kind and is great for a good laugh!

Giant Marijuana-Infused  Ticks  (Ticks)

ticks

Marijuana isn’t just good for teenagers to get high or treating glaucoma, its also good for turning regular sized woodland ticks into giant bloodthirsty exploding monstrosities. The ticks are slimy and gross and love to kill local teenagers. If you haven’t seen Ticks  give it a watch, its campy, fun, and Seth Green and Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) star in it!

Ice-cream (The Stuff)

the stuff.jpg

We all love ice-cream, but too much of it can kill you and I’m not talking about the diabetes. The Stuff is a horror comedy where the main villain is tubs of frozen treats that will eat you from the inside out. Larry Cohen, the director and writer of the film, said it was a satire mocking consumerism during the 80’s, but the idea of killer ice-cream is still absolutely ridiculous.

Snowman  (Jack Frost)

jack-frost

After getting into a wreck with chemical truck, Jack Frost, the local serial killer, turns into a  snowman hellbent on wreaking havoc on the small town of Snowmonton. Terrible puns and creative kills abound in this cheesy 90’s creature feature, but seriously how is a killer snowman threatening in any way?

 Vagina  (Teeth)

teeth

Make sure you always use protection kids! Although it wouldn’t help you much in this situation! After being sexually assaulted Dawn finds out that her vagina has teeth and instead of seeing a dentist for a tooth removal surgery, she decides to go on a revenge killing spree. The idea of getting castrated while doing the horizontal  boogie  is a terrifying thought, but still its pretty silly when you think about it .

Gingerbread man  (Gingerdead man)

gingerdeadman

A serial killers ashes are baked into a gingerbreadman and surprise it comes to life and starts killing people. . A fouled-mouth killer cookie played by Gary Busey makes for a gloriously ridiculous horror film and honestly how can you not love it?

Tomatoes  (Attack of the Killer Tomatoes)

killertomato

Tomatoes going around killing people? What is not to love? Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was a parody of bad B-movies and man does it parody them well. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes has become a cult classic legend and killer tomatoes have gone down in horror history as one of the most absurd horror villains to ever grace the silver screen.

 Mangle Machine (The Mangler)

magler

Do you know what a mangle is? I had to Google it to find out just what it was. Its apparently a giant industrial machine that is used to flatten out linens or clothing and yes there is a horror movie about a blood thirsty mangle machine. Starring Robert Englund,  Ted Levine, and directed by Tobe Hooper, this terrible horror movie is about a giant laundry presser that eats people. Who honestly thought this would make for good horror movie villain?

Bong  (Evil Bong)

evil-bong

A bong that transports you to a  surreal strip club infested with killer strippers and other horrifying monsters whenever you smoke from it is bound to make for a hilarious trip!(see what I did there?) The idea for this film seems like it was written by a bunch of college aged stoners but hey you not ever monster can be the Babadook I guess.

Condoms (Killer Condom)killer-condom

Remember how I said always use protection? Well, in this case you should probably reconsider. Killer Condom tells the story about , you guessed it, a condom that bites peoples genitals off. Its crazy, juvenile, and absolutely hilarious! What else could you want from a film entitled Killer Condom?

Telekinetic Tire  (Rubber)

rubber

Out in the desert somewhere a lonely tire suddenly awakes and goes on a killing spree. You would think that’s already pretty unbelievable already right? But it gets even crazier. This tire  has telekinesis and instead of using its power for good it decides to use its power to explode the heads of the local townspeople. I think this film had some pretty deep symbolism in it, but I think I might be over thinking it a bit too much.

Slugs (Slugs)

slugs

Why do horror directors love bugs so much? This film tells the story of a town besieged by giant man-eating slugs.Do slugs even have teeth? Slugs isn’t a great movie but the concept of giant slugs eating people is so funny that it falls into that weird realm of good bad movies.

Pile of Crap (Monsturd)

monsturd

Piles of feces are already gross, but giant piles of crap that want to kill you is a any germaphobes nightmare. This movie is crap and so is the monster in it!Bad horror movie directors sure do love the idea of turning random objects intomonsters and this movie takes that to a whole ‘nother level.

Elevator (The Lift)

the-lift

Why do people think machines make for good horror killers? This movie is no different than any other machine gone bad film; an elevator comes to life after the building its in gets struck by lightning and it starts killing people. Why question the logic of this film, its about a killer elevator for crying out loud!

Giant Sperm (Chillerama)

wadzilla

After finding out his sperm count is incredibly low, Miles’ doctor prescribes him a new experimental drug that is supposed to make his sperm stronger. However there was a terrible side effect! The drug makes Miles’ sperm hungry for human flesh and grow to the size of the Stature of Liberty. The giant man eating sperm rampages through New York City destroying everything in its path until the military blows it up. Chillerama is a stupidly hilarious horror anthology and this first story easily has one of the most grotesque monsters I have ever seen!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s